Lesbian Dad

A Baba’s Day Proclamation

[Repubbed from its initial 2007 appearance, and with apologies to Julia Ward Howe.]

Whereas there have always been womanly men and manly women, and Baba’s in the latter camp, always has been, always will be, and we like it that way; and

Whereas people like Baba, even if they may constitute a minority of the general populace, constitute at least 50% of the parents in their family, when they’re parents; and

Whereas Baba is a wonderful parent whether or not she’s socially recognized or understood, but the truth of it is that things will be a heckuva lot easier for her kids if more people considered, ideally even appreciated, that the spectrum of gender, and therefore quite naturally the roles “mother”  and “father,”  includes a rich band of people smack dab in the middle; and

Whereas in some lesbian families — like ours — our donor chum remains just that: our donor chum, a Special Uncle of a donor chum, but a donor, not a daddy, and it’s Baba that plays the daddy role, for most intents and purposes, (to the extent parenting ever does split along two mutually exclusive gendered roles, which sometimes it can, but mostly it needn’t); and

Whereas, at least in our family, we like monotasking on these days and focusing all our attention on one parent at a time, preferring to spread out the love; and

Whereas almost all the stuff that people promote as appropriate gifts to be given on “Father’s Day”  are things that Baba would be delighted to receive anyway, though of course it’s the thought that counts, and she’s sure she could find something to do with yet one more tie; and

Whereas, because our family is headed by lesbian gals, we’re quite accustomed, as are all “minority” communities in a “majority” culture, to drawing on or even inventing our own traditions when those around us fail to speak to our lives (oh, like, we had a commitment ceremony instead of a marriage), and frankly, rolling up our sleeves and customizing the culture around us makes for a better fit anyhow, not to mention it’s tons more fun,

Be it resolved that henceforth, at least in our family, the third Sunday in June, celebrated in the United States as “Father’s Day,” shall be celebrated as “Baba’s Day,” with all the hoop-dee-dooing attendant thereto.



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