Welcome, Advocate readers!

AdvocateScreenShotSome of you may find yourself here after following a Google trail from the Advocate piece, “The New Lesbian Dad,” by Abby Dorsey, published earlier today. Welcome!  (And old LD readers: hey, look! and also, comment, if you feel compelled!)

I’ve been publishing this blog since not long after the birth of our first daughter, ’round about 2006.  I don’t do any SEO, nor do I tag or categorize posts in much of a sensible way (whimsy carries the day!). But to help you follow up some of the questions Dorsey’s piece may have raised: you could check out posts under “Nomenclature & taxonomy” (sensibly titled, exploring naming and such), or “Anima animus” (obscurely titled, but about gender).

Of course the Best of page collects material I think represents a good range, well-done.

Ask whatever questions you like in the comments here! Or connect directly via my contact page. And thanks for stopping by.

7 thoughts on “Welcome, Advocate readers!”

  1. Nice article over there–although I have to say, I prefer the general tenor of the comments in this space :). There are a few doozies over there already.

    I’d long ago read your naming posts; nice to come back to them. The issue of choosing (grand)parental names is so interesting. While some of the Advocate commenters seem to see biological determinism as leading to a clear parental name term, even choosing among Dad/Daddy/Father/Papa/Pops or Mother/Mom/Mommy/Mama/Mamma can evoke a lot of family tradition, new paths charted, and emotion. Sure, parenting is all about the kids, but there are parental journeys involved as well, and choosing the names we use is an important part of claiming the parental role and stepping into it. You write/talk about it so beautifully.

    • Thank you, Susan. Ever a pleasure to exchange with you here.

      And heartily agreed: I approach the commentariant of larger, less clearly focussed online spaces with more than a bit of apprehension. I have vowed simply to not read the comment threads in big city newspapers, period: more rogue’s gallery than peanut gallery; too often a festival of simplistic one-upmanship rather than sincere, mutually respectful dialog. In rare cases are they well-moderated by the publication, and often (for myriad reasons, I imagine) authors don’t follow up pieces and moderate the conversation themselves. Which can send many comment threads to the dogs, or off on goose chases. But I find them instructive, in the least.

      I appreciate your noting that a parenting relationship consists of two people, both parent and child. Funny how it’s not utterly axiomatic that what helps makes a parent a whole person is likely to also help make them a better parent (coming to their guardianship and love from a place of emotional wholeness).

    • Wow, thank you. I really wish I could find a way to write those words with the sincerity I feel each (new, different, unique) time I am inspired to write them. But really: thank you.

      I was amazed and honored, both by the opportunity to talk with Abbey Dorsey, and to see what (and how) she wrote about all of us and what we’re up to.

      And hey: thanks again. That is all. 🙂

  2. Another long-time lurker who wanted to say what a lovely article and a big thank you for being out front of this non-traditionally gendered parenting space. As the feminine partner of a “Moppa” who is widely and wildly accepted by our daughters’ friends and their parents, I appreciate that you are sharing the acceptance you’ve found in your community. It heartens me to see all of those fabulous butchly type parents being recognized for what they bring to our children’s lives. And to mine!

    • OMG I want to hug you. And then bear-hug Moppa. And then haul a kid or two up on my back and trot around in circles ’til I pull a muscle.

      But also, truly: thank you. I swear. Good news is so much subtler and often more complex than bad. But we have to find a way to see it when it’s there to magnify it. Thank you for sharing your own.

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