Gone fishin’ sneaky-post 2

Waiting for Godot Mama.

Given the number of rehearsals she’s seen with kids singing and dancing to beat the band, it will basically be a miracle if we manage to keep her off the stage. Mama, after all, is Artistic Director of a local youth music theater company. Ergo, reasons the lil’ monkey, singing and dancing on stage is what you do once you’re, like, twelve.

Not everyone feels this way, though, most notably Noel Coward.

DON’T PUT YOUR DAUGHTER ON THE STAGE, MRS. WORTHINGTON
by Noel Coward

Don’t put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington
Don’t put your daughter on the stage
The profession is overcrowded
The struggle’s pretty tough
And admitting the fact she’s burning to act
That isn’t quite enough
She’s a nice girl and though her teeth are fairly good
She’s not the type I ever would be eager to engage
I repeat, Mrs. Worthington, sweet Mrs. Worthington
Don’t put your daughter on the stage

Regarding yours, dear Mrs. Worthington
Of Wednesday, the 23rd.
Although your baby may be keen on a stage career
How can I make it clear that this is not a good idea
For her to hope and appear, Mrs. Worthington
Is on the face of it absurd
Her personality is not in reality quite big enough, inviting enough
For this particular sphere

Don’t put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington
Don’t put your daughter on the stage
She’s a bit of an ugly duckling, you must honestly confess
And the width of her seat would surely defeat
Her chances of her success
It’s – it’s a loud voice, and though it’s not exactly flat
She’ll need a little more than that to earn a living wage
On my knees, Mrs. Worthington, please Mrs. Worthington
Don’t put your daughter on the stage

Don’t put your daughter on the stage, Mrs. Worthington
Don’t put your daughter on the stage
Though they said at the school of acting
She was lovely as Peer Gynt
I’m afraid, on the whole, an ingenue role might emphasize her squint
She has nice hands, to give the wretched girl her due
But don’t you think her bust is too developed for her age
No more buts, Mrs. Worthington, nuts! Mrs. Worthington
Don’t put your daughter on the stage

[Courtesy Leo’s Lyrics, which claims to provide you free access to a “Don’t Put Your Daughter On The Stage, Mrs. Worthington” ringtone.]

2 Responses to Gone fishin’ sneaky-post 2

  1. love.ceej August 17, 2007 at #

    Man, theatre’s done more for me in life than anything else I’ve ever done.

    Not that I’ve done much else. Been on stage since age 4.

    But honestly. It seems cliche, but I would definitely not be as responsible, punctual, or intelligent as I am without the theatre. And serious props to your beloved. Children’s theatre is one of the most important categories of theatre, and it so often gets swept under the rug. I’d love to work in children’s theatre for the rest of my life.

  2. LesbianDad August 18, 2007 at #

    Love.ceej, I have to agree with you. Not because I’ve ever set foot on stage, but because I live with a family who has. Her youth theater group is as much about responsibility, respect, work with community, testing one’s mettle and finding it true, etc., as it is about the show itself. Though I suppose a lot of theater people would say that is what the show’s about. (They make incredible theater, too.)

    First dinner I ever had with her family, they called out “Dinner’s ready!” Which in my house would start a 10-15 minute time clock to table. I washed my hands and came out to find everyone seated, napkins tucked into their collars, knife and fork raised, staring at the bathroom door. Oops. Curtain time is curtain time, people.

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