Whose shoes is whose? Or, find the lesbian!


After the merriment of my first blogular jelly bean count thingy, in which I promised a t-shirt to the person who could most accurately guess the number of pictures I took of my infant son in a twenty-minute spree, I vowed to do it again sometime, when I was duly inspired.

Well I have been duly inspired, and here’s the challenge: the image above pictures two shoes, one worn by a non-lesbian dad (that would be Looky, Daddy!), the other worn by a lesbian dad (that would be me). Guess whose shoes is whose! Over the next week (like, ’til midnight this coming Sunday, June 10) I’ll be fielding your guesses.

Since I can’t actually afford to send T-shirts to every correct guess (or both correct guesses? by both you regular readers?), I’m going to make it a hair more complicated with this twist: Guess the locale of the photo! (Hint: somewheres on the isle of Manhattan; you can take a stab at blocks, or landmarks, or what have you, but be as specific as you can. I.e., nothing huge like “Lower East Side” or something.)

Friends & family who’ve been regaled with travel stories & already know where we went, sorry! No can play! Otherwise, everyone can play! But only one lucky player can win!

To the person who (a) accurately guesses whose shoes is whose, and (b) comes the closest to the locale where the image was taken, I will send their choice of either

    • this timeless favorite, the “One of My Moms is Blogging This” infant or toddler t-shirt, for your kiddle; or

    • your choice from among these fine “love my daddies” items; or

    • this here omni-applicable “Love Child” t-shirt which will make all LGBT parents smile in solidarity, regardless of how old-school or new-school (i.e. straight or queer) your family make-up is; or finally, for the literate crowd,

    • a copy of the highly acclaimed, Lambda Literary Award finalist volume, Confessions of the Other Mother.

I’m not certain whether a demand for lesbian dad schwag will ever emerge, but if ever it does, you can rest assured that I will churn it out and feature it in upcoming Nonsense fun fests like this. I already have a bumper sticker idea, from our Donor Chum: “My other mama’s a baba!”

42 thoughts on “Whose shoes is whose? Or, find the lesbian!”

  1. Hi! I’ve been reading your blog for a while and really enjoy it. I’m coming out of lurkdom mostly just to say, those are great shoes! My vote is that yours is the one on the left and LookyDaddy is wearing the one on the right. Also, I think that the picture was taken somewhere in Brooklyn near the Brooklyn Brewery that was in your weekend bonus shot.
    I love reading your blog, keep up the good work!

  2. It’s a trick! Clearly the shoe on the left is Fred Astaire and the shoe on the right is Gene Kelley. Also clearly (note the speckles in the sidewalk) this was taken on the Hollywood walk of fame.

    That’s what you get for not letting me play.

  3. Mmm, Astaire and Kelley, I like that. Very astute, Mr. Know-It-All-Brother-In-Law, very astute. But you’re right. Can’t play. Sorry. I’ll still get your kids some “Love child” t-shirts, though, if you like. I know you already have enough copies of the Confessions book.

  4. so sad, so very very sad as I so very much want to win a One of My Moms is Blogging This shirt for Julia. Obviously as Lesbian Dad is quite the dapper dan the snazzy leather-looking shoe can belong to no other. But as I have only once been in NYC and was too busy gawking and running into people to stare at the sidewalk (must.not.look.likeatourist) I have NO CLUE where the picture was taken. I’m thinking… just off the top of my head…Central Park? Because, of course, if I was to take a picture of shoes that’s the place to take one. It being so central and parky and all.

  5. I have to guess that the super shiny wing-tip belongs to LesbianDad. I don’t make this assumption because I have any idea how you might dress on a Dads’ day in the Big City, but because it looks like the camera is being held by the figure on the left – and I’m further guessing that LesbianDad is holding the camera, leaving LookyDaddy to wear the checkered van.

    As to where said photo was taken, never been there, so no realistic clue. But based on the image of NYC I hold in my poorly-traveled mind, I submit that you are standing on an asphalt patch in the middle of a flea market, probably very near a Turkish coffee shop. Of course you hadn’t ventured into the shop prior to snapping the photo. I know this because of its clarity. No one enjoying the caffeine jitters of a proper cup of Turkish joe could possibly capture such a flawless likeness of two shoes standing on an asphalt patch in the middle of a flea market.

    And if I’m close, I’d love to have a Love Child T for my own little blonde monkey!

  6. After a bit of research here are my answers. I believe the shoe on the left is yours and the checkered shoe on the right is Looky Daddy’s, mostly based on I can’t picture him going for a beer in NYC in dress pants. I do read both of your blogs on a regular basis and after rereading his, I believe you were somewhere near Madison Square Gardens. He probably took the train in.

    New Castle Brown Ale, excellent choice of beers.

  7. Daggone, Whimsy, I should git you a t-shirt just for your being so observant and narrative and florid and all! But I will show discipline!

    And avyates, I am impressed by your dilligence. Thoughtful research must be rewarded somewhere in the world outside an Agatha Christie novel. Where of course it is.

    Also, I am crestfallen that no one, but no one, has even considered for a moment that I would be anything but a dandy.

  8. OK, I’m going to go out on a limb here, and guess that the traditional male trousers and leather shoe on the left belongs to the boyishly delightful Looky Daddy, and the more androgenous jeans and whatever those black and white checkered things are on the right belong to the also delightful Lesbian Dad. And something tells me that you went to a bar on Seventh Ave., and I’m guessing lower Seventh Ave., so let’s say Sheridan Square. My daughter badly needs a “One of My Mommies is Blogging This” t-shirt.

  9. My comment was eaten, I think. 🙁

    I am torn. Like almost everyone else, my first impulse was that the lovely dress shoes were yours and the retro vans (in a fashionable color combo!) belong to Looky Daddy.

    And you should always trust your first impulse in things like this.

    But. The contrarian part of my personality says to make a different guess than everyone else, or nearly everyone as the case became with the comment before mine. Now that someone has guessed the reverse, there is some pressure off to make that guess myself.

    Ok, I’m going with the first impulse. My mental picture of you is that you are one of those Well Groomed Butches, particularly if you are Going Out. And following avyates’ logic, I’m going to guess that it’s a street shot somewhere in the vicinity of 30th and 7th Ave.

  10. Ok, I’ll have to concur with all most of the other respondees and say that the shoe on the left belongs to dear old LesbianDad, and the shoe on the right to Mr. LookyDaddy himself.

    As for location. Owing to the fact that the maitre d’ was rude and you two were “underdressed cheapskates” I’m deducing that you were outside the realm of the average denim-wearing tourists. Then there’s the issue of LookyDaddy’s 7th Avenue reference. Is it a red herring? Whether it is or not, my guess is that LookyDaddy took the PATH in, and that you ate in the West Village.

    How about 7th Ave. and West 10th?

  11. The dress shoes are yours. You were there for a professional gig — a publisher? And you two met somewhere near the office of the publisher that you were meeting. Look Daddy says it was 7th Ave. The high 40s low 50s would be the zone for a publishing house. But not a great place to hang out. Perhaps you went into Central Park? Or perhaps you met him downtown, since he’s coming from Brooklyn (right?) and it would be more fun for both of you. Washington Sq. or Union Sq? Both would be great food options.

    In any case, this is pure fun for me, because it wouldn’t be fair to win twice in a row.

    I can’t wait to hear the answer!

  12. Polly – I just can’t see you in the shoes on the right. No offense to Looky Daddy but, um, no. If those are, in fact, your shoes – I will treat you to dinner at the Global Market in my very own Powderhorn Park when you next visit.

    I’ve not been to NY yet (I am going in September with my mother and you can be sure that I won’t be going anywhere cool enough to have been graced by famous bloggers)so I can’t guess with any authority. Because I am friends with google, however, I will go with 11th St. on the sidewalk.

  13. ! Ooo this is fun.

    anotherothermother: When I read the words “boyishly delightful” I was sure you were about to say… me! I’m glad to hear there’s enough delight to go around. Hmmm. Sheriden Square. Hmmm….

    Liza: You are right that on T/F quizzes, the first impulse is almost always the right one. Though I’m not going to say anything more, lest I pollute the process.

    debbie: Very fancy reasoning. Very fancy. I will assent to the fact that he did take the PATH train in obviously took the NJ Transit in. Since that much is clearly out of the bag. And the 7th Ave ref, and the snooty waiters. Yes, very wiley you are, very wiley.

    FemKnit: I love it that you guessed that a publishing house brought me to town on business. Very close indeed! (Keep hope alive!, said my presidential choice of 1988.) The whole guessing part is fun because the prospect of where to meet in NY is so fun (for those of us visiting yokels).

    Bugged: Solidarity, sister. Might makes right. Type-a thingy.

    LD: There you go again!

    Vikki: Oooo, girl! I don’t want to see what Global Market looks like. Though I do like the idea of a free meal, for any reason. You will utterly love NY, and Google will be your friend there. So will many a red-vested employee of the Metropolitan Transit Authority. I heart that town.

  14. After some careful strategizing with my spouse, I’m going to say LesbianDad is wearing the shiny butch shoes and LookyDaddy is in the checks, and you’re on lower 7th near Christopher Street.

    Now, if we’re lucky enough to score, what prize do we want? She says “One of my moms is blogging this,” but on the other hand, there’s something particularly amusing about calling our oh-so-carefully-planned baby a love child.

  15. Oops. What I meant to say, of course, was something about the boyishly delightful Looky Daddy and the delightfully boyish Lesbian Dad. Or was it the other way around? And is the shoe on the other foot?

  16. Late to the game, I’m late, I’m late.

    Obvious misdirection, I’m thinking, with the wingtips and the pleated pants. The few pictures I’ve seen you sort of hinted at some Dandy leanings, albeit less than full-blown Tom Wolfe.

    So, I’m thinking that’s you on the left. Also, the Vans-wielder appears to have a larger,wider, likely male foot. So, brown wingtips= Baba, Vans=Looky.

    Since Looky’s post references Seventh Avenue and literary events, I’m going with the queerest part of that, and making a wild ass guess at Somewhere in Chelsea.

    Or the West Village or vaguely NYU area.

    Unless it was Seventh Ave in Brooklyn, my old haunts. But that’s not Manhattan.

    So, Chelsea (or coniguous Clinton) it is .

    Brown shoes, Baba.

  17. I’m going to agree with the majority and say LD = left and L,D! = right, simply because I can’t imagine going into the city on business and wearing slip-ons.

    Where did you meet? In front of the U.N., of course, right before you stormed the doors and demanded additions to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

    (In reality, I wouldn’t know locations in Manhattan any more than New Yorkers know good BBQ, so…)

  18. delurking here to guess: you’re the left shoe, l,d is the right shoe… and you’re standing outside penn station.
    and if you charmed mta employees… that’s even more impressive than the sfo-luggage charm-story!

  19. And Polly – no Midtown Global Market? Really? It’s a very interesting place but I’ll stand by my offer of a free meal at a place of your choosing. Of course, remember that I am a civil servant 🙂

  20. IreverendA: Why, o why, does no one picture me a sporty gadabout in checks? But okay. Lower 7th near Christopher, hmmmm. Hmmm.

    LD: D’oh! NJTransit, PATH, LIRR, oh my. You can see why I needed your guidance en route back to JFK. Without your expert guidance I’d be arriving in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan around about now.

    anotherom: Now thaaaaat’s more like it.

    virgotex: I appreciate the subtle strategizing re: misdirection. One doesn’t even know whether we might have changed outfits, even, in a restroom or a phone booth (not that there are any phone booths to be found, alas). Chelsea (not the Clinton variety), hmm. Hmmm.

    Chris: O phooey! Is the shoe thing really that transparent (or am I misdirecting even here & now?). I so love the guess at the U.N. on business demanding additions to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which, thanks to Tillie Olsen, I now carry around in my wallet.

    ezfez: Welcome! Hmm, Penn Station, hmmm. And yes: you know, I mighta charmed the MTA folks only 3/4 as much as they charmed me. That town is filled with gregarious extroverts which makes it a great big pond for a fish like me. Then again, they were being paid at least $6.50 an hour (hope I’m shooting too low here) to be helpful. Either way, I appreciated them.

    Vikki: I can corroborate that Mr. LD cuts a very spiffy figure — whether or not those shoes are his. Which, to mix things up, I should say that if they are mine, no offense taken. Since you are a civil servant, I think I should treat you to a meal when I’m in town. As a partially self-employed, sometime civil servant myself, I think we might break about even.

  21. The crayons! The crayons! Google the crayons. Actually all I knows is where the weekend bonus picture was taken and that creative use of Google will reveal it. I have no clue if that picture and the shoes picture were taken with 5 miles of eachother.

    Also, LD, you’ll be happy to know that the NYT says that the minimum wage in NY is $7.15 as of this January. Still too low for someone to live in South Dakota, let alone New York City, but better than $6.50 as you had hoped.

  22. you know, careful examination of the Dads’ night out photo on flickr reveals that L,D is wearing a casual checked shirt… checks. Checks! And something that would match jeans far better than pleated, natty pants. I am more convinced than ever about my guess on the owners of the shoes. However, being as I have been to NYC only the once, I am still going to lose the location part of the puzzle.

    Can I hedge my bet and make a vote for Union Square?

  23. Well, I did a little research and spent a few moments remembering many fine restaurants that I frequented when I lived in the city. My favorite was Hudson Corner in the West Village. They also had crayons and butchers paper on the table and I drank many beers there, although I don’t recall them ever being snooty. So while I would love to think of the two of you sitting down for a drink in the place where I blew a good portion of my work-study stipend, I realize that it is a long shot. Instead, I’m going to go for the more general address of Hudson St, Although, L,D! did reference Target, which is at 7th and 42nd St….so that is also a possibility.

    And as for the shoes…I’m pretty certain that the jeans/Vans combo is L,D! and not Polly.

  24. Cafeteria at 17th Street. They serve Brooklyn Lager there (ala Flickr pic), and its in Chelsea, which you hmm…hmmm…ed about earlier, and the decor looks about right.

    And my bad, NJ Transit is L,D’s transport. That arrives at Penn Station, so you’d meet him there after the publisher/agent meeting, and you two walked down into Chelsea (enjoying all the gayness along the way), and parked yourselves at Cafeteria for an evening of revelry.


  25. I clicked on “most popular” posts. I just wanted to share that as a confused person who’s, oh, about six months into figuring out my sexuality and was a tomboy growing up, but then fell in love with finery, I tried on a pair of men’s shoes the other day and practically swooned. I’m suddenly remembering all the guy’s shoes I’ve loved over the years but wouldn’t fit my husband’s wide foot. Oh, wait, I could wear them. And a derby. And a sweater vest. And a tie……

    Now to get a gig so I have money to change my look so utterly.

    I wonder, though, do women with chests get to be butch? In my limited (primarily internet) experience, can’t say I can think of any.

    • Oh honey. Are you in for a ton of fun. Of course the short answer to your question is, any woman on the planet with any body on the planet gets to be whatever the hell she wants to be, period, the end. But also, there’s all kinds of butch, manly, mannish, gentlemanly, dapper, foppish, dandyish, she-mannnish kinds of ways we can be. Definitely, chestage can present some challenges around how a dress shirt or a vest or a blazer/jacket might fall. Nothin the right size clothing item (and a can-do attitude) can’t fix.

      One of the blogs up for this year’s Lezzy (yep. a blog award.) was How to Be Butch, and she seems to spend a goodly amount of time having fun talking haberdashery hoo-ha. Start hopping from blogroll lilly pad to blogroll lillypad. Butch Fashionista writes about all sorts of stuff but definitely also matters sartorial. Nouveau Butch is fun, and would be even greater if she posted more often. (!)

      And hey: comment back if you run across a blog you like that you want to shout up/out/about.

  26. Thanks for the encouragement!!

    It’s funny, I’ve been searching for shoes that were both beautiful and comfortable to walk in (wandering around cities is one of my favorite things to do), but it is pretty much a no go in women’s shoes. There is either beauty and heels or there is comfort and walking and sometimes a “cute factor” but pretty much never a bit of elegance. The closest I’ve come is darling red ankle boots with buttons up the side that look like Victorianana (my other secret side is a bit of steam punk…a side I don’t indulge near enough).

    And then to realize what I want is a man’s shoe like you sport above. Problem solved!! So excited to go shopping now. Nordstrom’s Rack has a ton of gorgeous shoes that are good brands and marked down.

Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.