He smiled! He smiled!

The world is so full of a number of things,

I’m sure we should all be

as happy as kings.

~ Robert Louis Stevenson, A Child’s Garden of Verses

O, I was going to write about how we’re in the weeds here, as they say in the restaurant business. And with a performing artist in the house, you know we got a lot of laboring years in the restaurant business to draw from. Why the weeds, you may ask? In our brief experience with it, a second wee mite brings an EXPONENTIAL increase in childcare needs, not an arithmetic one. Quite in contrast to adding a second dog, which did entail merely an arithmetic increase in care. (Otherwise, I’m happy to report to all you dog-totin’ dykes out there — and we all are issued dogs upon coming out; the toaster thing was just a joke for TV — all the insights gleaned from being a human companion to a dog have been right on the money.)

Have I noted in these pages that the lil’ monkey threw her naps overboard like about six months ago? Have I? Because that might factor in here. The whole “nap when the baby naps” thing is C-R-A-P when you got a toddler with insomnia bopping around the house armed with a fork and on the make for unprotected electrical outlets. Okay, mostly she reads and draws and makes powdery messes with baking flour, but the point is that the moment either of us dropped off to sleep, she totally could begin to skewer the outlets. She totally could.

Then I was going to write about how sad it is to have a six-week old infant get the croup, and how sad it is that we had to haul him off to the ER in the middle of the night for treatment thereof, which included a shot of steroids (!). I was hoping for a bookish kind of chap, but am now bracing for the Butchenator. [Ed note: The lil’ monkey, upon clapping her eyes on that image, said “He looks like a cheeseburger!”] Ah well. He no longer barks like a seal, and it cleared up his bout of infant acne, bada bing, bada boom!

Then I was going to write about his post-croup, husky Brenda Vaccaro for Playtex Tampons voice. O, sad sad, the husky-voiced infant.

But all these laments have to go to the back of the queue, because instead I have to sing out to the heavens that He smiled! He smiled!

I’m as corny as Kansas in August!
[Musical fans may follow along with the lyrics here.]

7 Responses to He smiled! He smiled!

  1. Liza March 5, 2007 at #

    I saw the beautiful pics in your flickr photostream this morning and melted. He’s so adorable. Sorry you are all in the black hole of sleep deprivation. Even living right in the middle of that child-raising village doesn’t appear to be the miracle cure we who live far from the extended family might imagine.

    Good luck.

  2. Vikki March 5, 2007 at #

    1)I am going to use the Wikipedia list and write an entire post only in diner lingo. I love it so.

    2)We have also made the second dog/second kid comparisons in our house. Our youngest turned 2 yesterday and I’m not sure we have recovered yet from the exponential increase in responsibilities. Sorry to break that to you…what with your 6 week old and all. I’m sure it will be different for you 🙂

    3)Croup sucks. Babies as tiny as yours should not get it. It’s just too wrong.

    4)What? No video of the smile? I’ll be waiting.

  3. virgotex March 5, 2007 at #

    Sorry, but that bodybuilder picture is just wrong! I wasn’t prepared.

    I can offer no comparisons to child care effort but I confirm the second dog is not exponentially more difficult than the first, and further, the third dog is a breeze. I can also offer that it is actually easier to ADD dogs to a pack than it is to remove them. When the ex-Mrs. Tex and I split, she took two dogs and I kept the pack leader, but I had to go out and get a new dog so he would have someone to boss around, because his whole identity is being Alpha Dog.

    So, multiples of dogs-easy
    multiples of cats-easy

    Multiples of parrots and children- difficult

  4. virgotex March 5, 2007 at #

    doh, I forgot to add:

    The smile is beatific!

  5. katieschwartz March 7, 2007 at #

    no wonder everyone thinks I dine at the Y, I have a dog! (I got no mans at the minute by choice, thank you) and I love joni mitchell. I don’t own a toaster. for appearances, I just might have to go out and get one.

    the fruit is a honey. great punim (yiddish for face), fabulous smile. you, ld, remain a goddess riot. does your beloved have a blog, too? I’d love to read her yarns…

    take care of the meshpucha.
    katie-

  6. Ansett March 8, 2007 at #

    You know…in the first picture, I think you can see his man-face. Ever notice that you can sometimes look at a child and catch a glimpse of their grown-up face?

  7. LesbianDad March 8, 2007 at #

    Thank you, all of youse. I’ve been back to work outside the house this week (whilst banging the head against the sleep deprivation wall, as intimated above), but alas therefore slower on the gracious responses.

    Liza, thank you for the well-wishing. I know we’re fortunate, and all this heck would be even more on a stick if it weren’t for the net of support around us. But still. What I want is to sleep for a week and know that my kids will still be alive and well and willing to talk to me when I wake up.

    Vikki: yak! I gotta pretend at least that this will feel normal sometime soon. I would video the proceedings if only I were able to regard the video camera (which I did get) with anything other than a mixture of intimidation & confusion.

    Thank you for the comment Virgotext. Note to self: No parrots!

    Katie, I must agree with you on the punim assessment. Alas, the beloved is non-blogular. Though I do get her to read this one most of the time. Her yarns will remain unspun.

    And Ansett: I know! Freaky deaky. Forty years old, is where I place him a lot of the time. Though evey infant looks like Wallace Shawn for some period or another.

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