Partly in service to the students in the class I spoke to the other day whose online questions I didn’t have time enoughÂ to answer in person, and partly in service to the random assortment of you readers who may have asked such questions at one point or another, if goaded to by a class requirement, I offer up the following smattering of Qs and their As.
To make matters reasonable, I am going to pull off the feat of keeping all the answersÂ to Twitter-length, otherwise known as 140 characters or fewer. Â For those of you who are not Twitter denizens (Twenizens?), you will see, over and over again, both its strength and its weakness. Brevity: the soul of wit, but also of vast oversimplification.
When kept to this constraint, we can see that sometimes a pithy reply is best. Â Many Twiterers (-erers), however, myself included, are compelled to post strings of related Tweets when one won’t do. Â Do let me know if you think a thought/conversation ought to be strung out a bit more and we can carry on in comments or in another post.
For context, students were assigned the six-part essay I excerpted here a few years back: “Confessions of a Lesbian Dad.”
Q: Has your brother, brother’s wife, partner’s mother, and spouse adjusted to you referring to yourself as “baba” or lesbian dad?
A: Easy, on the 1 hand: Iâ€™ve never been anything else. But family slipped a little 1st few wks; newbies do weekly. I explain; it all works out.
Q:Â How old is your child and how is your child handling having a mom and baba? Does the child refer to you by those titles or has the child opted for something else?
A: Girl 5, boy 3. Theyâ€™ve only known us, so our familyâ€™s the baseline reference pt. Gal often calls me Babbi. I try not to think of the kid in The Brady Bunch.
Q:Â Do you regret not being the one to bear the child or labeling yourself as “baba” or lesbian dad?
A: Never, never, & never. Much to my great relief on all points. I use descriptor â€œ1/2 way betw. a mama & papaâ€ most often. Makes sense to all.
Read more20 questions about lesbian fatherhood