Bad news, good news

 

  

The text message you don’t want to get from your partner when you’re away at work (right before I hit “Send”).  Or at least, you wouldn’t want it cut off at the first sentence.

Are any details necessary?  Oh, I don’t know.  Just the second worst grocery shopping experience, ever.

First worse was the one in the crowded holiday store when the lil’ peanut coughed and hurled and coughed and hurled and finally just hurled and hurled.  Had to leave the painstakingly filled-up cart in situ in the canned food aisle, and speed home, one eye on his nodding head in the rear view mirror, while I called for help to greet me upon arrival.  Glad there’s a hands-free cell phone use law in California now.  I wouldn’t have wanted to be on the road with me on it last December.

This one?  The second worst  grocery shopping experience, ever?  Nothing a pint-sized pair of ankle cuffs and a bright orange jumpsuit wouldn’t have cured.  Oh, and a microchip in her neck.  Am now going to Google “toddler-sized ankle cuffs” and “Size 4T prisoner’s jumpsuit.”  Stick ’em in Baba’s go-bag, for the next grocery run.  Just in case.

5 thoughts on “Bad news, good news”

  1. My kids are in another country and, suddenly, this sort of thing is purely funny to me. For some reason, I feel that I can tempt the fates and laugh out loud at the monkey’s possession. I am terribly sorry for you, of course…but hilarious.

  2. Thank you so much for making me feel less alone. I’m sorry you’re on this journey too, but selfishly, I’m glad to have such good company.

  3. Welcome to the club – your badge and handcuffs will be issued next door. We took our little offender straight to the police station after leaving the store (one of the benefits of living in a small town). They showed her the (empty) jail cells, told her she’d have to spend the night there without her parents. We also gave a lecture to the rest of the brood. At least they keep their criminal activity confined to the house and their siblings now :o)

    I wrote a text message about half that long the other day, it took me almost 15 minutes to type it. You must have amazing texting skills. Look at that punctuation!

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