Monolog from the Lil’ Monkey, first thing in the morning, on her second birthday last week:
People like to kiss. Not hurt anymore.
Can you walk with me?
Look at those toes! Is that your underwear? I’ll fix your underwear. I’m just button yourself. I just button you.
Baba, where are Maxi’s biscuits?
These are little ones. Those are big ones and little ones.
I say ‘Here, Mackie!’
Baba, can you get more? More biscuits? ‘Cause Maxi eat it all up. I say ‘Eat-a the rest!’ Maxi crunchie her biscuit. Soon Maxi finish her biscuit then she get anudder one. Can me have another one for Mackie? I don’t have too much in her mouth.
Oh uppie! Eat it all uppie! Mackie! Right? It’s funny.
I need-a write sompin for you inna pen. I need-a spell you.
I’m making a dinasaur.
Everybody is brown. [Lil’ monkey’s name] is brown, you is brown.
[Further reading: Gertrude Stein’s prose style, or single-origin evolutionary hypothesis, since I’m sure that’s what Lil’ M. was referring to at the end there. In a quirky, slightly masochistic mood? Try making it through this interview with the master herself, courtesy Prof. Al Filreis at UPenn.]