Lil’ Monkey: Hel-lo?
GW Bush: Yes–hello? Monkey? This is President Bush. I need your help.
GWB: Okay, so. My advisors tell me things are going to H-E-Double Toothpicks in the Middle East, and they need me to step up to the plate a bit more. So my question to you is…
GWB: My question is: just what, exactly, consititues the Middle East? I mean, does it start as high as Maryland and go down to South Carolina?
GWB: And while we’re at it, how far does it go to the left–er, I mean, west? Like, does Kentucky count as the Middle East? I just want to know.
GWB: Hmm. [sound of scribbling in the background] Check. Hey, kid. I have another question. Dick’s still out peeing so I have another minute.
GWB: Okay. So. My advisors say I need a position on interest rates. Like, should I raise or lower them? I figure it’s better to have more people interested than not, right? So I should raise them, right?
GWB: Great. This is really helpful. One last question. This one’s on education. They keep insisting I have a policy, but I forget what I called it. It has something to do with the Rapture? Or something?
LM: Left Behind!
GWB: Yeah! That sure rings a bell! Ooops! Gotta go. Dickie’s back. Thanks Lil’ Monkey, you saved my–